The unexpected party night... The feeling of pure spontaneity... What could possibly lie ahead? Could it be regret? Could there be that perfect rush of instinct that we all hope to feel with every drink poured down our throats? We forever hope to have an even better time every night we go out and celebrate, relish, experience, remember, or hope to forget. It is an endless cycle of newness. It is the wait before the night’s adventure that truly makes things interesting. This is what we do.
Tuesday June 23rd, 2009. I woke up with the intentions of going to my friend Dylan's studio. I love that place. It is located in a prime area near downtown Ottawa down Fifth St. off of Bank, the Glebe as it is referred to here. The place is covered in old and modern homes. As you walk down the side streets of the area you are nothing short of stunned as you notice the drastic characteristics of each place of residence. Some are made of red brick with wide front windows, some are as modern as the Jetsons, and others are covered in vines and scream "This is our home! We who live in these buildings love these places whole heatedly". In between each of these houses are trees and gardens filled with flowers of all sorts. This place is a haven. The air even smells richer in the Glebe...
Anyways... As I was saying I had planned to make a day of visiting the studio as Dylan finished up some photography work he had to do. I was going to read and hang out in the sun, maybe talk to my friend Breanna whom lives in a quaint little apartment like basement of the house directly in front of the studio. Dylan and I got all of our stuff together. We were ready to head out and begin our day until we got to the bus stop in front of our apartment buildings. My cell phone rang...
"Hey man, what’s up?"
It was my friend Dominic on the phone. Now to understand the situation a little bit better I am going to fill you in on just the kind of human being Dominic is and a little bit about his background. Dominic is intense in the true sense of the word. Although he has his more quite moments here and there, these moments are usually very rare. He is an average sized man in height but he is truly muscular and will let you know this. He loves confrontation. He loves women of all sorts as long as they "Don’t talk and let you do your thing, fuck them and be done with them". These sorts of things that he says only add to the intensity that is Dominic. He is however very generous. A contraband cigarette smuggler by day he makes an exceptional sum of money for a person our age, taking my low income situation to heart of course. He spends his money needlessly and carelessly and most of the time on Tom, Dylan and I if not on his tricked out Chrysler Seabring... Yes I said it, a Chrysler Seabring. We still do not mind. He had been sleeping on our couch at night for about a month or so and it came to a point where confrontation was needed and I guess now he has discovered my friend Corey (refer back to The Story of the Water Bottle and the Whiskey) and has moved on to crashing at his place for a couple hundred dollars a month.
However he is still our friend, is honest about being so, and will come by and drive us around in his car and help us out in ways that are actually truly cool at most points. So with all of that being said... my phone rang at the bus station.
"Not too much man... Heading down to the studio for the day and were waiting for the bus." I replied in suspicion.
"Don’t worry about it dude. I'll give you guys a lift." Ca Ching.
So we arrive at the studio after a ride of straight "gangster" rap aka Lil Wayne and random songs about making money and fucking "hoes" and we finally relax. Now, Dominic had a plan. Dominic always has a plan. As I sat down in the studio making fun of how absurd human beings are to actually degrade themselves to make such terrible music with Dylan, Dominic threw down the proposition.
"Man do you want to come on a ride with me to Cornwall and make $50.00, I just really don’t like to drive it alone, it’s boring." he slides it on me.
My eyes lit up like Christmas. As I said I am a poor writer. I do not make money off of this unfortunately. So with haste and excitement I reply.
"Why the hell not?"
"Have fun!" Dylan remarks as he sees the entire situation play out before his eyes and I hop into the car filled with bass and useless talent...
The car ride began with a large iced cappuccino and a raging Dominic driving at a considerably fast speed. I did not mind. In fact I kind of enjoyed it. The weather was atrociously beautiful and the wind was in my hair. Car rides are wonderful. I stared at all of the different people driving different kinds of cars that all looked as if they suited their personalities in some fashion. It is odd how people seem when you have no idea who they are. What did they assume of me?
Finally we arrived in Cornwall. We were there to collect Dominic's contraband cigarette running money apart from doing other random side missions. This is always a huge problem with Dominic. He asks you to go to one place with him or vice verse and you can NEVER just go straight there. There are always his little "stops" or his "Oh hey dude I just have to run into part source and pick up this exhaust head for my Grand Prix" (and or his Seabring)" I’ll just be a minute..." Never in his entire existence has Dominic ever just been a "minute". This is utter aggravation and it will drive you to the bone most of the time but all I had to do was keep my mind on the 50$ going into my pocket. Horrible thing to crave...
The ride home was a different scene. My arm had been sun burnt from hanging it out the window the whole ride there. That's right. Only one of my arms was sun burnt. I look horribly ridiculous! That matter aside all Dominic did was either yell and scream at either a random girl he gets money from whom actually stalks him because of his constant need to take money from her or his girlfriend. Dominic considers that because he has been with a girl for a year and a half (and I don’t by any means imply that he was ever faithful) that he has a certain commitment to this person even though their entire relationship is built upon making each other mad and pretending to make up. So between the sun burn and the random, super intense, scream fest phone calls, the car ride home... Not so pleasant.
Amidst all of these problems I really wanted to do some things during the night. 1) Hang out with Breanna because I had not been able to the day before. 2) Possibly go out and chill with some friends, the bar was an option. Last but not least 3) HAVE SOME FREAKING FUN AND GET OUT OF THIS GOD FORSAKEN HELL CAR! I had become antsy and agitated but as long as I had some fun during the eve then all would be alright... We got to Ottawa... and then the stops ensued. First we had to go to Part Source and then to Wall-Mart. After that we had to go wash his car and clean it out and then after that Canadian Tire and Part Source again! All of this time I was talking to Dylan and Breanna on the phone trying to give them an estimated time of when I would at least be at the studio again. Dylan wanted a ride home and Breanna wanted me to smoke hookah. I was torn, lost and confused. When we got to the studio Breanna was out getting coals and Dylan was ready to leave having been there all day and it now being 9:00pm. I did not blame him but now here I am leaving the place I am supposed to be literally as Breanna is pulling in the driveway. I see she and two of her guy friends get out of the car. I depart.
Finally we are on a track. One solid plan that could potentially hold a lot of excitement went something like this: We were going to Gracey O' Malleys down the street from my house. A bar that Dominic has an odd obsession with because of the ditsy dumb looking females parked out front of the bar usually with their douche bag Abercrombie, popped collar boyfriends. Dominic never goes in. He just watches. He also does not drink but this enables us to have a designated driver at all times. The party night ensues.
We picked up Corey and got to the bar at about 11:30 due to the fact that Dominic decided to take an hour and a half to get ready at Corey’s and who knows what in the Christ he could have been doing. The bar was absolutely packed. There was not a chance in Valhalla that we were making it into this place and to tell you the truth I definitely did not mind. The douche to chill/fun people ratio was way off the charts. We decided to relocate to a bar just down the street from Gracey's called Tail Gators. Now as redneck as this place sounds it actually is pretty decent. It is an absolutely massive pool bar. Outside are to gigantic stair cases that make me wonder every single time: How many freaking people have fallen down these things? They looked like the god damned stairwell from the Exorcist, you know the one the priest falls out of and gets battered, mangled and murdered...Fuck this staircase! There was very minimal people there and pretty much 4 girls who were there with guys. Horrible scene but I was there to do my work. Drinks were on Dom. One shot of tequila, one purple haze, and a pitcher of Budweiser. Here we go.
Dominic paid for an hour of pool which we actually got rather into and let me tell you Dominic can play! He literally was rocking trick shots and possibly won every game. I decided that the 50 dollars in my pocket was pretty much free money so I felt generous and took Corey and myself to the bar for a round of shots. As we sat down at the bar I asked the bartender what he recommended I drown myself with.
"Track Suits and Jagger-bombs are cheap tonight."
Slide the track suits on me. I am going jogging....
I order the shots as the 2 guy’s beside us begin to make conversation.
"You guys should try Porn Stars, man." One of them replied in a suggestive tone.
I was not opposed. 2 Shots of Porn Stars for Corey and I after we consumed the Track Suits. How odd that feels to say. Where do these names originate from and why?! So we take the shots into our hands and sticking to the theme of being friendly I thought to myself "I better give these guys a solid “Cheers!” for suggesting the drinks." In a very sneering and condescending tone they looked at me and refused to cheers. What in the hell have I done to deserve such tom foolery?! Ah well human beings are strange and I of all people know this so I return to the pool table with Corey.
Almost immediately after I return to the table I see a few girls walk up to the bar. This is a chance. Time to turn on whatever charm I can muster up from my body and possibly try to talk to these people. I inform Dom and he is not opposed to the idea.
"Find out what they want." he replies.
Now I have already ingested a bit of alcohol so I have not a clue what he means.
"Uhhh. Ummm. The girls?" I spit out in a confused manor.
"No you fucking idiot! Find out what Dylan and Corey want!" And intense Dom rears his ugly head.
Realistically I did not even give a damn about the girls anymore because I was about to drink a round of a new beverage I had never tried before... The Killer Kool-Aid. Oh my, what a wonder. There is so much alcohol and with such a wondrous taste. Green Jolly Rancher is the flavour I got from the mystical cup of booze. I am in love. I walk away from the bar without so much as even glancing at the girls. Whoops! Oh well, another time I guess. Dylan talks me into another round of tequila shots before last call becomes apparent to our situation. I do this almost unwillingly but I do it all the same. This is when the drunkenness began. The decision was that we were to drive to hull, Quebec where we could drink until 3am and hit up a Karaoke bar that I had been at another previous drinking endeavour. The place was baron last time I was there. Boring and desolate with nobody hanging around other then random old men and women singing their lives away at a karaoke bar. I tried to convince them of this places terribleness. Dominic did not care and this is where he was going no matter what I said and that was that.
Graciously I will say right now that I was wrong. I apologize about the slandering of the karaoke bar and to this day I will remain more open minded about these kinds of places because when we pulled up in our little dark green car to what I thought was going to be a bore my jaw slid towards the fuzzy cushions of the cars floor. The place was ridiculous. There were so many people there my mind could not even fathom. What happened? Why in the hell was this desolate bar suddenly flooded with loads of people? It was not until later that we all found out the June 23rd was the eve of what would be considered as Quebec's Independence Day. Happy St. Jean! We were in the middle of a French separatist party and could not speak a word of it. Oh boy. Brace yourself.
I wish I could recollect how many drinks I was given at this bar because I definitely cannot but I do remember doing 2 liquid cocaine shots with a beer chaser the moment we stepped into the door. There was a brief moment that froze in time while I was standing at the bar and ogling over the state I had put myself in when a man walked by and made an expressively happy gesture with his face towards me. He was painted the colors of the Quebec flag. This man was the definition of celebration from head to toe. As I looked around the room to see if he could have possibly made the facial expression to anyone else and there was nothing but the bar behind me. I smiled back and threw up a peace sign. I want to party just like that!
Throughout the time we spent at this bar many things stood out and one of the situations actually lead to another point in our journey but we will get to that later. The first of which was the French music. As Dylan and I sat at a table by ourselves we watched all of these wild French party fiends dancing around to this ridiculous sounding music. In fact Dylan started singing out “a, b, c, d, e, f, g” and so on to the beat of the song and to our hilarity it fit flawlessly. I gave Mary Had A Little Lamb a shot and sure enough we sang our hearts out. Sitting there with our new rounds of shots and beer we peered around the room in disarray. This place was wild. I grabbed my notebook in which I usually write semi detailed descriptions of what happens the night of (of course this also pertains to the amount of craziness the day/night holds) and jotted down what I thought was a piece of my mind at the time and then Dylan asked me to pass him the notebook so he could also jot something down. We laughed at what we wrote and decided to go meet up with Corey and Dom on the patio where there were (of course) tons of people gathered drinking, talking and celebrating.
We got some drinks and decided to sit at a table that was already occupied by two other people. Their appearance seemed rather chilled out and cool so being the social folk we are we started up conversation. It turned out that these two characters were in a band. One played guitar and was talked up by his friend as all musicians tend to do about their band mates and the other guy was a drummer. Now I say guy because in all honesty I have not a single clue what these human’s names could have been. Between the hustle and bustle going on around us, all of the drinks being poured one by one into my body, and Corey and Dominic hitting on these two rancid looking girls behind us there was no way to fathom up a memory of a name because of such a situation. We did however think we got their band name until a later phone incident wiped them from existence. God damn technological monster pieces! Also this was the first person on Earth that was officially handed a Dylan Leeder Photography business card and will forever be remembered as such.
This is where things started to get out of hand (if you don’t already think they have already of course). One of these two homely looking ‘girls’ (if you can call them that) was horridly attracted to me. Their names again are a blur but I can describe them to a tee. The first one was blonde. She looked as if she could be somewhere in her middle thirties and by god it took effort to look at her twice. The second girl (aka the girl who would not quite me) was a tad bit over weight... and when I say a tad bit I kind of mean this girl was morbidly obese and I wouldn’t touch this human with a pole the size of the Empire State building! As rude as it sounds there is a reason for such slander.
The bar began to close and everyone was rushed out of the karaoke shack. Finally! I thought to myself. We can get out of this situation and get the H back home. This could not have been more wrong... In fact the girls followed us to the car and Corey told me to not be a jackass and keep my cool so he could get with the blonde chick. Whatever... Corey is awesome and I would chill out if he wanted me to just for the night as long as I get the fuck home! We all get into the car and Dylan and I are rejoicing. Home time! I can finally step into my apartment stare at my wonderful resting place known as my bed and fall... fall fast asleep into the dream world.
"There they are! " Dominic screams at the rest of us as we drive down the Hull strip.
"What?!” I proclaim in pure lurid shock.
“The girls man! The girls! They are right there. We are meeting up with them.”
My dreams have been shattered into a million tiny little splinters that lodge deep into my brain in agony and discomfort.
“Fuck this! I’m staying in the car.” Dylan proclaims.
I agree with all of my efforts. These girls disgust me and I will have no part of this adventure. Dominic and Corey are gone. Dylan and I are wiggling around trying to find a comfortable resting position to try and get some sleep.
“Dude... Do you want to just go for a walk through the forest or something?” Dylan asks me with hope of doing something more fun than trying to sleep in a tiny ass car.
“Let’s do it.”
As we step outside of the car there she was. The blonde girl was walking towards us asking what we were doing in the car.
“Why aren’t you guys coming to the beach?” She asks me in her thick Quebec accent.
“Wait a minute, the beach?” I relay back in confusion.
“Yes” she replies.
“Does this beach have sand?” I ask.
“Yes” she replies again.
“And water that we can swim in?” Did I really need to ask that?
“Of course! That is where we are going.” She persuades me with her words.
I look over at Dylan and anyone who knows Dylan knows that he loves the beach and I mean to the point where he has a tattoo of a Polaroid camera picture of a beach on his ankle. I already knew the answer. To the beach we go!
The walk to the beach was absolutely insane. It was a long, dark, closed off road that we were walking down with two random French girls. Dominic was getting super worried for some reason. He started to get very uptight and walked back to talk to Dylan. I had to see for myself what on Earth they could be talking about that was making them so tripped out.
“Man! They could be walking us into a trap or something. They could mug us when we get there so be ready to fight if you have to!”
Holy shit! Dominic was tripping hard. Dylan played along getting more and more scared at what Dominic was saying.
“Chill out Dom. Nothing is going to happen. We are going to a beach and that is that.” I tried to calm the vibes down a bit.
“They could be robbing my car right now!” He replied raising his voice a bit to get his point across.
As he said that I thought to myself... What the hell are they going to steal from your car a pack of cigarettes and a bag of Fritos?
“Dude, Chill out man we are going to be fine and if worse comes to worse I think we’ll be okay with Corey, you, Dylan and myself”.
The vibes rippled away as we turned the corner to find the infamous beach. Hoorah!
It took some working up of courage before I went into the water but when Dylan let me know he was going in I was ready. The water was actually super warm and pleasant. I could have swam for hours if it were possible. Swimming while you are intoxicated is quite the experience. You feel a little more courageous then when you would be swimming sober. I was contemplating swimming out super deep into the water but then kind of that twice about what the hell I was even doing at the moment. I was in the water of a random beach in hull swimming with two random French girls, Dylan and Corey as Dominic sat on the beach and I’m guessing kept an eye on our stuff. The surroundings were actually incredible. There were lit up buildings everywhere across the water. One building had a purple backlight behind a fountain that shot up at least 50 feet in the air. I loved this place but I was beginning to get a little chilly and realizing that I just jumped into the water in my boxers I had no means to dry myself off! Alcohol makes bad decisions sometimes. So I ended up using my t-shirt as a towel and tossed it with my boxers as we ran to a nearby fire to warm up. The owner’s of this camp fire were young kids whom I am guessing decided to go for a beach side camp for the night and I doubt expected 2 girls and 4 guys (2of which are big muscular guys) to show up and bombard their fire but we at this point did not give a single care. With no conversation except “We’re so cold, this fire is amazing” exchanged we got the hell out of there.
Keeping in suit with the rest of the attempted journey’s home I have had during the days span the walk back to the car was not so pleasant. Dylan was complaining about how he just wanted to get home, Corey, and Dominic were lost talking to the French girls and I was smack dab in the middle of it all. I tried to strike conversation with the girls just to be kind considering the whole experience we just went through and ended up (who the Jesus Henry Christ knows how) stumbling upon the fact that these girls were French separatists. They wanted Quebec to become its own country. I could not help but laugh and I do not think these girls appreciated this. I did not care. The rest of the walk home as fat girl number 2 tried to keep getting me to “Take my pants off” I got a little bit fed up.
“No sorry. I have a little thing humans like to call ‘self respect’ ever heard?” I replied as snarky as I could.
Things did not look up from there. I walked ahead to talk to Dylan because I was sick of listening to the separatists garbage talk and from what Corey and Dominic told us in the car all they did on the walk was mouth them the entire way.
As we got in the car and did the loop around we all decided that we would yell something at these two girls we had in a way left stranded in hull. Corey said wait until he tried to get one of their numbers. I was not opposed to this idea. We pulled up beside them and Corey got turned down.
“Fucking French separatist douche bags! Woooooo!” and away we sped into the night never to see the 2 human beings again.
To conclude our hull adventure we decided to go to a restaurant called Rockwell’s for a night cap of wings and about a gallon of water each. Corey couldn’t help but swear all breakfast and we were all at a point of confusion and delirium. As I ate my hot wings and watched the sun rise I thought do other people have adventures like this? Do other people have this much fun because experience is what makes the world go round. We are here to make the most fun out of every situation we are placed in no matter how terrible they can be at some points. Before Dylan and I decided to lay down in bed at 6:30 in the morning we checked out what we had written in my notebook and it read: "French supremist douche bags!!! YEAH!!! ...and they love their gambling... let the 'lords' bless these french partyers (sp?)". We could do nothing but burt out in laughter at the hilarity of the situation that played out that evening and our laughter ended the night of the French separatist movement.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
Carrot Top at the Arena and The Floating Cat Dream
Carrot Top at the Arena
Eyes shifting around the massive arena. It was big like a brown coliseum but in a way that felt comforting and warm. Thousands of seats filled with seas of people, faces and all of the noises that come with the territory. This place was familiar and I realized that I knew many of the people. They were my friends, my family, and my acquaintances all bunched together between sections of random individuals. As I peered around they would call out to me one by one like firecrackers in the dark. They would wave or yell, holler and jump to get my attention but I just smiled back to them all in acknowledgement. I was not the center of attention. We were all here for something or someone. To my right was an empty row of seats and to my left just one until he came. To my complete astonishment the red-haired, loose cannon of a man whom we all know as Carrot Top waltzed in casually and took the seat to my left...
I for some reason felt very calm about sitting next to him and realistically he did not seem like that wild of a man at all. He gave off a presence of experience. This interested me. The small talk began. There were empty kegs beside our seats for some reason and I remember cracking a witty remark about finishing mine first even though we were both clueless as to where they came from. Our personalities went hand in hand and we started talking about more in depth scenarios like for instance me asking him why he was there.
"The stag and doe!" He replied as if I should have known in the first place.
"Oh!... Yeah." This is a stag and doe? I thought.
The place resembled a circus performance and I could hardly even see what was in the middle of the arena because of our poorly placed seats. As our conversation went on I could hear a distinctly noticeable voice from a few rows behind me muttering about me.
"You want me to keep an eye on him?" the voice stated.
I knew in all honesty this statement was made about me. The voice was my sister Danielle talking to my step mother a few rows back. Am I a child? I thought to myself in anger but this did not bother me because I was deep in conversation, I simply did not care, and realized that I was feeling a bit hungover from something. My father was the next step in the journey. He ventured towards us not knowing who Carrot Top even was in the first place just to come over and talk to me. This made me smile. He is a jolly man and quite wise at times. I did not mind that my dad wanted to sit beside me and he in fact carried on the conversation further. I introduced them to each other.
The discussion consisted of what I wanted to become in the future, how to actually become a known celebrity by doing something you love, and how to enjoy life while doing so. I spoke of my love for writing and told Carrot Top that I would surely write a story about this meeting and that one day he would know about it and read it. As my dad offered me a beer I asked Carrot Top to sign my notepad just so that when the story was finished I could scan his signature and put it at the bottom of the last page as proof that it was all true. He agreed whole heatedly and the moment the pen was in his hand and touched the note pad... I awoke in another dream.
The Floating Cat Dream
The room was odd. It was my living room at my parents house but there was nothing in it except a stool, a video game console of some sort, and a couch that I was sitting on. It was bare. The walls were painted white with black wallpaper decals randomly scattered amidst the room. There were 4 of us. My friends Breanna, Dylan, Thomas and myself. Breanna was multitasking. She was either on her cellphone or reading a book. She was sitting at the end of the couch. Dylan was just staring off into space. He was sitting on the stool. Thomas was in constant struggle to hook up the video game console but there was no TV. He was on the floor laying on his stomach and fiddling with chords of all colors.
I lay ed on the couch observing each person in their domain. I felt uncomfortable and strange. Nobody said a word. I quickly turned my head to the right to witness Breanna's two little kittens jolting towards me in a happy manor. I was pleased to see them. They were dancing amidst the rug with two out of place and unknown black cats. Breanna's kittens leaped into my arms and I embraced them. The two black cats shot a good 5 feet in the air and froze. These were no cats at all. I stared at the floating figures in fear. They took on human shape. One was perched in meditation and the other in full sprawl but it seemed comfortable with how it was positioned. This made me uneasy. They had no features and absolutely no definition. They were alien.
I yelled at Breanna. "Breanna! Breanna! Look at this! What is this?!"
She didn't even move a muscle. In fact I called out to every person in the room and none of them would even so much as look. Dylan sat and stared into the abyss and Thomas kept his head turned to the console. I was alone in a room full of people with two floating alien creatures in front of my face and not a soul would look! What the hell?!
I stared down at the kittens in my arms. Their eyes were glazed over in fear just like mine. They could see them too and they were afraid. My only witnesses. I cradled them in my arms as if I would never let go and I comforted them until the perceptive world...
Eyes shifting around the massive arena. It was big like a brown coliseum but in a way that felt comforting and warm. Thousands of seats filled with seas of people, faces and all of the noises that come with the territory. This place was familiar and I realized that I knew many of the people. They were my friends, my family, and my acquaintances all bunched together between sections of random individuals. As I peered around they would call out to me one by one like firecrackers in the dark. They would wave or yell, holler and jump to get my attention but I just smiled back to them all in acknowledgement. I was not the center of attention. We were all here for something or someone. To my right was an empty row of seats and to my left just one until he came. To my complete astonishment the red-haired, loose cannon of a man whom we all know as Carrot Top waltzed in casually and took the seat to my left...
I for some reason felt very calm about sitting next to him and realistically he did not seem like that wild of a man at all. He gave off a presence of experience. This interested me. The small talk began. There were empty kegs beside our seats for some reason and I remember cracking a witty remark about finishing mine first even though we were both clueless as to where they came from. Our personalities went hand in hand and we started talking about more in depth scenarios like for instance me asking him why he was there.
"The stag and doe!" He replied as if I should have known in the first place.
"Oh!... Yeah." This is a stag and doe? I thought.
The place resembled a circus performance and I could hardly even see what was in the middle of the arena because of our poorly placed seats. As our conversation went on I could hear a distinctly noticeable voice from a few rows behind me muttering about me.
"You want me to keep an eye on him?" the voice stated.
I knew in all honesty this statement was made about me. The voice was my sister Danielle talking to my step mother a few rows back. Am I a child? I thought to myself in anger but this did not bother me because I was deep in conversation, I simply did not care, and realized that I was feeling a bit hungover from something. My father was the next step in the journey. He ventured towards us not knowing who Carrot Top even was in the first place just to come over and talk to me. This made me smile. He is a jolly man and quite wise at times. I did not mind that my dad wanted to sit beside me and he in fact carried on the conversation further. I introduced them to each other.
The discussion consisted of what I wanted to become in the future, how to actually become a known celebrity by doing something you love, and how to enjoy life while doing so. I spoke of my love for writing and told Carrot Top that I would surely write a story about this meeting and that one day he would know about it and read it. As my dad offered me a beer I asked Carrot Top to sign my notepad just so that when the story was finished I could scan his signature and put it at the bottom of the last page as proof that it was all true. He agreed whole heatedly and the moment the pen was in his hand and touched the note pad... I awoke in another dream.
The Floating Cat Dream
The room was odd. It was my living room at my parents house but there was nothing in it except a stool, a video game console of some sort, and a couch that I was sitting on. It was bare. The walls were painted white with black wallpaper decals randomly scattered amidst the room. There were 4 of us. My friends Breanna, Dylan, Thomas and myself. Breanna was multitasking. She was either on her cellphone or reading a book. She was sitting at the end of the couch. Dylan was just staring off into space. He was sitting on the stool. Thomas was in constant struggle to hook up the video game console but there was no TV. He was on the floor laying on his stomach and fiddling with chords of all colors.
I lay ed on the couch observing each person in their domain. I felt uncomfortable and strange. Nobody said a word. I quickly turned my head to the right to witness Breanna's two little kittens jolting towards me in a happy manor. I was pleased to see them. They were dancing amidst the rug with two out of place and unknown black cats. Breanna's kittens leaped into my arms and I embraced them. The two black cats shot a good 5 feet in the air and froze. These were no cats at all. I stared at the floating figures in fear. They took on human shape. One was perched in meditation and the other in full sprawl but it seemed comfortable with how it was positioned. This made me uneasy. They had no features and absolutely no definition. They were alien.
I yelled at Breanna. "Breanna! Breanna! Look at this! What is this?!"
She didn't even move a muscle. In fact I called out to every person in the room and none of them would even so much as look. Dylan sat and stared into the abyss and Thomas kept his head turned to the console. I was alone in a room full of people with two floating alien creatures in front of my face and not a soul would look! What the hell?!
I stared down at the kittens in my arms. Their eyes were glazed over in fear just like mine. They could see them too and they were afraid. My only witnesses. I cradled them in my arms as if I would never let go and I comforted them until the perceptive world...
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Destined
Pushing upwards from the water.
Fumbling about with names.
Spiral river.
Incubator.
Wrap your scales around her.
The wings are tapered from actually caring,
and I am stuck in a shit hole we call life.
So are you...
Segregated from the experience and hiding in your sleep.
Like masturbating in the dark we are destined to be anybody...
Or nobody.
Fumbling about with names.
Spiral river.
Incubator.
Wrap your scales around her.
The wings are tapered from actually caring,
and I am stuck in a shit hole we call life.
So are you...
Segregated from the experience and hiding in your sleep.
Like masturbating in the dark we are destined to be anybody...
Or nobody.
Monday, June 8, 2009
To the people...
I just wanted to say to everyone who has taken the time to look, glance, peer, whisk through, comment, remark, and especially follow my blog... You are wonderful. Thank you to every single last one of you and I am more then glad you have enjoyed reading my work. You people make me keep wanting to do what I do and for that I am more then grateful. Way to go you whacky humans, you will remain incredible forever...
Sunday, June 7, 2009
The story of the water bottle and the whiskey
There are a few things to consider when it comes to drinking for an entire day and night: 1) Always (and I mean always) make sure there is enough alcohol to last you throughout the span of your adventure. 2) Never drink obnoxiously fast during the day because the demon genuinely known as your drunken state will pounce on your back at night like a leaping lion and this lion will drag you down in success. 3) Try your best not to black out... it may haunt you for the rest of your waking and subconscious life. 4) Become the master... No matter what anybody says to you, play it cool. Fight through the drunkenness! You are zen. You are admired. Last but definitely not least we have 5) Ignore all forms of conflict unless desired. Douche bags sold separately... I have displayed these sets of rules above because in a round of sheer stupor I was involved in everything I have written and I am more then happy to share my story of horror.
The day began. My eyes crept open to the sound of the phone ringing in the living room. Oh shit! Our friend Justin is on his way to pick us up and transport my 2 best friends, Dylan, Tom and I back to our hometown. Shaken by the fact that I now had approximately 30 - 40 minutes to get all of my items together for a trip back home and my head was splitting in half from the night before, I was delirious. I need help. I drifted back to sleep for a bit before he arrived. Justin's presence makes me want to chug 100 beers and he would gladly join if possible. Fuck my headache. Tonight we party.
Home, finally! The ride was short, quick and filled with a variety of "friend core" music that made my head a much bigger issue then it needed to be. Techno... Yelling.... Breakdown... Yelling.... End. So I arrive in glee to my sister blaring Queen. I am not opposed. She fills me in on the days festivities. We are to split a 26er of spiced rum followed by whatever else we needed afterwards. My face smiles as my liver hides in a corner sulking but the day is beautiful and the sun is beating down in waves of heat. What better to do then drink all day and night?
The lid from the bottle is cracked. Flowing golden brown liquid is poured into my cup. I am not shy. My first drink is a strong one and I don't see any point of breaking the habit further down the line. The taste of the liquid makes my mouth pucker and my face cringe but there is a reason for this. Tonight I want to be a wild man swinging from rafters and breaking the chains. I want to explode in a drunken frenzy. Freedom and failure.
The drinks progress as I socialize a bit trying to figure out what to do for the night. There are many options. There are apparently three party choices. Two of which are being held at friends places that would progress towards a bar extravaganza. I hate the bar... A place for lost souls and boring banter and being the poor struggling writer that I am I have no money to afford that trip. Another party is random. My younger sisters friends birthday. Her name is Kaleigh. I am torn...
Next thing you know I am introduced to a new drink. It is a cooler dubbed the "Bananatini". The yellow glowing substance I force down my throat. I am intrigued and feel a sense of envy. The taste is sugary and almost like the banana medicine you were given as a kid to make your "tummy" feel better. I drink about half. By this point I have ingested so much sugar into my body that I can hardly look at the haunting radioactive glow. It peers at me from across the room. I am in disgust. Death to the Bananatini!
The time flies by and next thing I know the choice has already been made. Jake whom is my younger sisters boyfriend shows up. He is the transporter. Chilling out with my friend Mike we decided to stay back and catch a ride with our other friend Chaucey. I try my best to keep in touch with the others in Jake's car. This does not go well... On our way to the party (they are supposed to be at) I receive a message stating that the people at the house we are going to have all retreated and were currently in line up at the bar. We have been dooped! In a flurry I try my hardest to get a hold of Jake and like a charm he answers his phone with grace. "Hey man do you think I could go to that party you are at? Everyone bailed on me..." I ask in hope.
"Yeah man for sure." he replies.
"Is there anyway you can come meet me at the nearest gas station?" I was pushing my luck.
"Yeah man, no problem. Ill be there in a few minutes."
Success!
On the phone the party sounded raging and this was good because I was in for an experience and by this point I was intoxicated enough to be able to handle any situation, or so I had thought. So I waited for Jake with anticipation. What would come next? Why do I do these things? As I sat and pondered he showed up roaring down the road towards me in his semi souped up beast of a car. I climbed in with a water bottle of whiskey in hand.
"So how is it man?!" I asked excitedly. "Hows the party going?"
"It's retarded man. Drug dealers and stupid girls who are all taken and the ones who aren't I wouldn't want to touch."
Introduce me to a firing line...
"Why wouldn't you tell me this on the phone?!" I retorted in shock.
"I don't know man. You could have fun, we'll see." He tried to reassure me.
Now I begin to worry. The alcohol level in my blood was raging like a fiery menace and I was being carried away to a scene of neanderthals who could very well be jumping on tables and beating their chests but was this not what I wanted? I resorted to the only thing left that I thought could help my situation...More whiskey.
The story of the water bottle half full of whiskey was a common one. A friend of my sister whom was hanging out all day with us had taken a mix of 2 different kinds of whiskey from her parents. She is 19. As odd as I found having to take alcohol from your parents at such an age I did not care, for the water bottle ended up in my possession. A smile has crept onto my face. This bottle stuck with me throughout the entire night filling my head with strayed, wacky and horrible antics. The fire water thought revoker.
So as we pulled into the driveway of this "party" I noticed a familiar figure looming in the darkness. My friend Mackenzie was there and more then filled with glee to see my sorry face. He was used to parties like this. These were his friends. So basically I latched on hoping that if these people were the savage apes that Jake was describing I would have a motive to be there... a friend amidst the storm. We made small talk and compared the activities of our day before making our way into the thunderous garage. The party shack.
Being that this was a girls birthday party I was waltzing up in on I tried my best to make my way over to her and wish her a happy one. Instead I got caught up in the randomness that ensued. There were people from all walks of my life there. People I knew from elementary school, people I knew from my past, even random acquaintances I have met along the way. Could this party offer more then I had thought? One of them noticed the bottle. My plastic new best friend. He asked me "Hey dude! What are you drinking in that thing?"
I took my buddy from my sweater pocket and felt it's smooth sides. "Whiskey man! Wisers actually." I replied and I lied for fun.
Next thing I know he came back 3 minutes later with a full 26er of the exact whiskey I had pretended to be drinking. A big black labeled bottle from hell. "Top er' up man!" the human exclaimed.
"Ummm what?!" I was dumbfounded.
"Fill er' up dude. You don't have much left."
This man began to glow like an angel if there was ever such a creature. He was offering to let me fill up my entire water bottle to the brim with more whiskey. A beaming ray of light shone down upon my plastic sidekick as I replenished its almost diminished body with gold. Oh wonderment... What a state my little friend is going to put me in. I cheers this godsend of a human being with thanks and praise and I take another drink. What am I thinking?
I try to introduce myself to as many people as possible and each person that realizes they had known me from somewhere stop me to talk. This takes a long time but my bottle is constantly at my side. Taking drinks, giving drinks, it was a circus and I was the lead act. I was "new".
Don't get me wrong. As much as I love the feeling of everyone wanting to know who you are and why you are there (especially the ones of the female gender) this sometimes poses a problem. Gorilla's tend to get jealous. Even if they do it in the nicest way possible it still bothers me. When you are attempting to have a conversation with someone and all of a sudden there's some guy kissing or rubbing up on the human your trying to interact with can be quite off-putting. I get annoyed. I drink from my saviour.
The party was random but not a single person except the birthday girl was having a bad time. She was attractive and funny but she was not having fun. Oh the irony. Every time I tried to make contact with her she was either balling her eyes out of her skull about some ex boyfriend issues or trying to hook up with some random dude at the party. This did not help her situation... In fact everything I witnessed her try to do to have some fun ended up backfiring right into her face. Some people are doomed to be stuck like this forever. How boring.
Of all the people I met at this party only one stood out through the fog. I don't quite remember her name but I do remember her patterns of thought. She was confident, outgoing, convincing and talkative. I decided I would converse with this person for a while. We spoke about theories of evolution, philosophy, psychology and our own beliefs of human nature. My kind of conversation...
This is when things got a little heated. My friend Corey is a giant. He is tough and wild and he loves to get into any form of confrontation. He is a gentle giant and absolutely loyal to his friends but to anyone else... he is a whirling tornado from hell. I think every time alcohol and Corey are present there is a fight. A vicious, blood soaked, gladiator battle that no one can stop. This man was born in the wrong era of time. Corey had shown up at the party...
Things began a little friendly with his arrival. He threw me a beer and I gave him a big hug but in the back of my mind all I could think about was the horror that was going to ensue if so much as one person looked at him wrong. A ticking time bomb of sorts, he puts me constantly on edge of destruction. Wild man, wild times and before anyone knew it he had set his sights. A girl had slapped a creepy random dude who had shown up to the party. A big no no in Corey's books. The situation happened fast, creepy dude spoke, girl slaps creepy dude, beer shatters on ground spraying all over my pants, I hate creepy dude...
Not knowing what happened Corey took the side of the creepy guy because he had not a clue what happened. To slow to react to such a fast situation Corey ran after the girl... She was already gone. He came back into the garage in a fury of rage, knocking things over and freaking out about nothing that mattered. I sat there staring at my plastic hero. More whiskey for me. I am intoxicated. The mother of the house came out trying to get everyone who was being to risky out of there, apparently my sister was one of them. I am stuck in a room of 3 year old children and Jake and I are the only rational ones left.
Deciding to leave the shit storm and going outside away from the bickering children was the best idea I have had the entire night. There was a dog roaming the lands. Majestic and fun. I played fetch with the dog for a solid half an hour while I drank the whiskey and "txt'ed" a wonderful girl I know over and over. Man, I love real animals. Compared to the people in the other room the only thing different between the dog and them was the happiness the animal portrayed. Silly human beings trapped in their own stupidity...
My serenity was quickly interrupted by a fleeting Kaleigh, Lacey, Jacob and Corey. This was now the convoy. We were to leave the premises immediately... Even the birthday girl. In the car we listened to horrible music, a recurring theme throughout the days adventure. Kaleigh was coming on to me. Holding my hand and rubbing my leg like nothing else mattered as she sung the most horrible music known to man. I was not impressed but like I said she was attractive. Little did I know that we were actually on our way to drop her off at her ex-boyfriends apartment. What the H?! The awkwardness flooded the car. This girl began calling and screaming and crying at her ex-boyfriend because she believed he had another girl in his presence and she wanted to stay there. Corey manged to get her kicked off of the grounds with his wild drunken antics. She lost her mind. What a poor waste of a human existence... People like this are doomed to live in this place forever, be in this place forever, and die in this place forever. Still boring...
We drove away watching a flustered, tear soaked girl scuffle back to her own apartment alone and in pain... Happy birthday.
Next thing I know I'm dropped off at home after taking care of a massive giant of a man a.k.a: Corey and walking him up his stairs after he puked up his guts. Tequila is a horrible thing. Who knew such giants could get so intoxicated. What does that say about me?! So the moral of the story is there are no morals. People are strange and lost and I get to observe and write about their situations along with mine. As for the my adventures long companion the plastic instrument of destruction... I threw it out into the night and watched it fade into the distance as I drifted to sleep and tasted the residual it had left in my mouth. Fare well my plastic friend. I will see you again in the after world.
The day began. My eyes crept open to the sound of the phone ringing in the living room. Oh shit! Our friend Justin is on his way to pick us up and transport my 2 best friends, Dylan, Tom and I back to our hometown. Shaken by the fact that I now had approximately 30 - 40 minutes to get all of my items together for a trip back home and my head was splitting in half from the night before, I was delirious. I need help. I drifted back to sleep for a bit before he arrived. Justin's presence makes me want to chug 100 beers and he would gladly join if possible. Fuck my headache. Tonight we party.
Home, finally! The ride was short, quick and filled with a variety of "friend core" music that made my head a much bigger issue then it needed to be. Techno... Yelling.... Breakdown... Yelling.... End. So I arrive in glee to my sister blaring Queen. I am not opposed. She fills me in on the days festivities. We are to split a 26er of spiced rum followed by whatever else we needed afterwards. My face smiles as my liver hides in a corner sulking but the day is beautiful and the sun is beating down in waves of heat. What better to do then drink all day and night?
The lid from the bottle is cracked. Flowing golden brown liquid is poured into my cup. I am not shy. My first drink is a strong one and I don't see any point of breaking the habit further down the line. The taste of the liquid makes my mouth pucker and my face cringe but there is a reason for this. Tonight I want to be a wild man swinging from rafters and breaking the chains. I want to explode in a drunken frenzy. Freedom and failure.
The drinks progress as I socialize a bit trying to figure out what to do for the night. There are many options. There are apparently three party choices. Two of which are being held at friends places that would progress towards a bar extravaganza. I hate the bar... A place for lost souls and boring banter and being the poor struggling writer that I am I have no money to afford that trip. Another party is random. My younger sisters friends birthday. Her name is Kaleigh. I am torn...
Next thing you know I am introduced to a new drink. It is a cooler dubbed the "Bananatini". The yellow glowing substance I force down my throat. I am intrigued and feel a sense of envy. The taste is sugary and almost like the banana medicine you were given as a kid to make your "tummy" feel better. I drink about half. By this point I have ingested so much sugar into my body that I can hardly look at the haunting radioactive glow. It peers at me from across the room. I am in disgust. Death to the Bananatini!
The time flies by and next thing I know the choice has already been made. Jake whom is my younger sisters boyfriend shows up. He is the transporter. Chilling out with my friend Mike we decided to stay back and catch a ride with our other friend Chaucey. I try my best to keep in touch with the others in Jake's car. This does not go well... On our way to the party (they are supposed to be at) I receive a message stating that the people at the house we are going to have all retreated and were currently in line up at the bar. We have been dooped! In a flurry I try my hardest to get a hold of Jake and like a charm he answers his phone with grace. "Hey man do you think I could go to that party you are at? Everyone bailed on me..." I ask in hope.
"Yeah man for sure." he replies.
"Is there anyway you can come meet me at the nearest gas station?" I was pushing my luck.
"Yeah man, no problem. Ill be there in a few minutes."
Success!
On the phone the party sounded raging and this was good because I was in for an experience and by this point I was intoxicated enough to be able to handle any situation, or so I had thought. So I waited for Jake with anticipation. What would come next? Why do I do these things? As I sat and pondered he showed up roaring down the road towards me in his semi souped up beast of a car. I climbed in with a water bottle of whiskey in hand.
"So how is it man?!" I asked excitedly. "Hows the party going?"
"It's retarded man. Drug dealers and stupid girls who are all taken and the ones who aren't I wouldn't want to touch."
Introduce me to a firing line...
"Why wouldn't you tell me this on the phone?!" I retorted in shock.
"I don't know man. You could have fun, we'll see." He tried to reassure me.
Now I begin to worry. The alcohol level in my blood was raging like a fiery menace and I was being carried away to a scene of neanderthals who could very well be jumping on tables and beating their chests but was this not what I wanted? I resorted to the only thing left that I thought could help my situation...More whiskey.
The story of the water bottle half full of whiskey was a common one. A friend of my sister whom was hanging out all day with us had taken a mix of 2 different kinds of whiskey from her parents. She is 19. As odd as I found having to take alcohol from your parents at such an age I did not care, for the water bottle ended up in my possession. A smile has crept onto my face. This bottle stuck with me throughout the entire night filling my head with strayed, wacky and horrible antics. The fire water thought revoker.
So as we pulled into the driveway of this "party" I noticed a familiar figure looming in the darkness. My friend Mackenzie was there and more then filled with glee to see my sorry face. He was used to parties like this. These were his friends. So basically I latched on hoping that if these people were the savage apes that Jake was describing I would have a motive to be there... a friend amidst the storm. We made small talk and compared the activities of our day before making our way into the thunderous garage. The party shack.
Being that this was a girls birthday party I was waltzing up in on I tried my best to make my way over to her and wish her a happy one. Instead I got caught up in the randomness that ensued. There were people from all walks of my life there. People I knew from elementary school, people I knew from my past, even random acquaintances I have met along the way. Could this party offer more then I had thought? One of them noticed the bottle. My plastic new best friend. He asked me "Hey dude! What are you drinking in that thing?"
I took my buddy from my sweater pocket and felt it's smooth sides. "Whiskey man! Wisers actually." I replied and I lied for fun.
Next thing I know he came back 3 minutes later with a full 26er of the exact whiskey I had pretended to be drinking. A big black labeled bottle from hell. "Top er' up man!" the human exclaimed.
"Ummm what?!" I was dumbfounded.
"Fill er' up dude. You don't have much left."
This man began to glow like an angel if there was ever such a creature. He was offering to let me fill up my entire water bottle to the brim with more whiskey. A beaming ray of light shone down upon my plastic sidekick as I replenished its almost diminished body with gold. Oh wonderment... What a state my little friend is going to put me in. I cheers this godsend of a human being with thanks and praise and I take another drink. What am I thinking?
I try to introduce myself to as many people as possible and each person that realizes they had known me from somewhere stop me to talk. This takes a long time but my bottle is constantly at my side. Taking drinks, giving drinks, it was a circus and I was the lead act. I was "new".
Don't get me wrong. As much as I love the feeling of everyone wanting to know who you are and why you are there (especially the ones of the female gender) this sometimes poses a problem. Gorilla's tend to get jealous. Even if they do it in the nicest way possible it still bothers me. When you are attempting to have a conversation with someone and all of a sudden there's some guy kissing or rubbing up on the human your trying to interact with can be quite off-putting. I get annoyed. I drink from my saviour.
The party was random but not a single person except the birthday girl was having a bad time. She was attractive and funny but she was not having fun. Oh the irony. Every time I tried to make contact with her she was either balling her eyes out of her skull about some ex boyfriend issues or trying to hook up with some random dude at the party. This did not help her situation... In fact everything I witnessed her try to do to have some fun ended up backfiring right into her face. Some people are doomed to be stuck like this forever. How boring.
Of all the people I met at this party only one stood out through the fog. I don't quite remember her name but I do remember her patterns of thought. She was confident, outgoing, convincing and talkative. I decided I would converse with this person for a while. We spoke about theories of evolution, philosophy, psychology and our own beliefs of human nature. My kind of conversation...
This is when things got a little heated. My friend Corey is a giant. He is tough and wild and he loves to get into any form of confrontation. He is a gentle giant and absolutely loyal to his friends but to anyone else... he is a whirling tornado from hell. I think every time alcohol and Corey are present there is a fight. A vicious, blood soaked, gladiator battle that no one can stop. This man was born in the wrong era of time. Corey had shown up at the party...
Things began a little friendly with his arrival. He threw me a beer and I gave him a big hug but in the back of my mind all I could think about was the horror that was going to ensue if so much as one person looked at him wrong. A ticking time bomb of sorts, he puts me constantly on edge of destruction. Wild man, wild times and before anyone knew it he had set his sights. A girl had slapped a creepy random dude who had shown up to the party. A big no no in Corey's books. The situation happened fast, creepy dude spoke, girl slaps creepy dude, beer shatters on ground spraying all over my pants, I hate creepy dude...
Not knowing what happened Corey took the side of the creepy guy because he had not a clue what happened. To slow to react to such a fast situation Corey ran after the girl... She was already gone. He came back into the garage in a fury of rage, knocking things over and freaking out about nothing that mattered. I sat there staring at my plastic hero. More whiskey for me. I am intoxicated. The mother of the house came out trying to get everyone who was being to risky out of there, apparently my sister was one of them. I am stuck in a room of 3 year old children and Jake and I are the only rational ones left.
Deciding to leave the shit storm and going outside away from the bickering children was the best idea I have had the entire night. There was a dog roaming the lands. Majestic and fun. I played fetch with the dog for a solid half an hour while I drank the whiskey and "txt'ed" a wonderful girl I know over and over. Man, I love real animals. Compared to the people in the other room the only thing different between the dog and them was the happiness the animal portrayed. Silly human beings trapped in their own stupidity...
My serenity was quickly interrupted by a fleeting Kaleigh, Lacey, Jacob and Corey. This was now the convoy. We were to leave the premises immediately... Even the birthday girl. In the car we listened to horrible music, a recurring theme throughout the days adventure. Kaleigh was coming on to me. Holding my hand and rubbing my leg like nothing else mattered as she sung the most horrible music known to man. I was not impressed but like I said she was attractive. Little did I know that we were actually on our way to drop her off at her ex-boyfriends apartment. What the H?! The awkwardness flooded the car. This girl began calling and screaming and crying at her ex-boyfriend because she believed he had another girl in his presence and she wanted to stay there. Corey manged to get her kicked off of the grounds with his wild drunken antics. She lost her mind. What a poor waste of a human existence... People like this are doomed to live in this place forever, be in this place forever, and die in this place forever. Still boring...
We drove away watching a flustered, tear soaked girl scuffle back to her own apartment alone and in pain... Happy birthday.
Next thing I know I'm dropped off at home after taking care of a massive giant of a man a.k.a: Corey and walking him up his stairs after he puked up his guts. Tequila is a horrible thing. Who knew such giants could get so intoxicated. What does that say about me?! So the moral of the story is there are no morals. People are strange and lost and I get to observe and write about their situations along with mine. As for the my adventures long companion the plastic instrument of destruction... I threw it out into the night and watched it fade into the distance as I drifted to sleep and tasted the residual it had left in my mouth. Fare well my plastic friend. I will see you again in the after world.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Forever
There was a man sitting inside of an open box. The walls were bare and there was no ceiling but he sat still and he kept his head to himself. Never looking up he pondered the reason he was alive and what it meant to exist. I sat above the prison cell where I coaxed and heckled him to forget about his box world and experience color, sensation, bliss, love, and feeling but never did he so much as flinch a muscle. He was pain and he sat there alone, undercover, in his baron world... and he died there forever.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Smile
I just want you to know that I am happy when I smile.
That everything is just where it was placed to be.
The wind blew through the tree tops and made them whisper,
Something about motivation.
There was a raindrop that cried as it split on the ground and it was the most beautiful thing that eyes could see.
So I danced and I screamed at the top of my lungs in celebration,
for birth... and for life,
For the voice that rang through the fog.
It's sound was sad and filled with heartache...
But it was true and it was honest with feeling.
Like a wave of sensation my heart felt pressure like never before.
It is in the little things that beauty is rarely accounted for,
And as she sat there picking flowers in a distant garden,
For whomever they may be.
All the while I am happier when you smile.
That everything is just where it was placed to be.
The wind blew through the tree tops and made them whisper,
Something about motivation.
There was a raindrop that cried as it split on the ground and it was the most beautiful thing that eyes could see.
So I danced and I screamed at the top of my lungs in celebration,
for birth... and for life,
For the voice that rang through the fog.
It's sound was sad and filled with heartache...
But it was true and it was honest with feeling.
Like a wave of sensation my heart felt pressure like never before.
It is in the little things that beauty is rarely accounted for,
And as she sat there picking flowers in a distant garden,
For whomever they may be.
All the while I am happier when you smile.
Connection
The eyes... It is always the eyes. Do you not love the feeling of glaring into somebodies eyeballs and feeling like you could topple the highest building or start a war? Pure inspiration. Too many people get drawn away from the things that matter (and this does not exclude me by any means) but to know that it has come down to a complete sense of realization and exasperation just by staring into another persons eyes is somewhat breathtaking and real. Deep, glistening, pool balls of sight. Draw me in a little bit closer.
To feel something so connected and joyful, like regaining a sense of purpose it comes like a memory... a wave... a symbolic song floating through your head space. For me it is a feeling. A full fledged, full bodied, mind numbing rapture that you believe not a soul could ever truly know. However, there is that feeling of hope. Hope that the experience is being shared on the same scale and hope is all you need when it comes to first encounters because it means progress and you're in it for the long haul.
Watching another person go through this kind of thing is almost just as interesting as experiencing it yourself. It begins with contact of the eye's then it moves on to the dropping of the jaw's and when your brain lets the rest of your body catch up to this phenomenon you utter some form of single syllable gibberish, something along the lines of "h-h-hi" or "what's up?" but your insides are screaming and revolting, knowing you could write this human being an orchestra if it would please them and all you want to say is "Come with me on a journey of mysticism and joy! I want to be your experience... I want to know who you are." and all you had was hi! Holy fucking shit is this actually happening?
The best part about witnessing this mind blow actually happen to someone is the fact that you can see everything the person is screaming on the inside on their face. Wearing it like a thin veil but trying their best to deny the fact that anything worth while is actually happening here. We need to stop hiding things like this. Openness is the key to a world of truths and happiness. Although this barrier of emotions still plagues my existence for the time being I am done with such boring wait games. I am going to start feeding my inner thoughts to peoples faces and hopefully they won't throw it back up.
As one of my favourite bands once chanted out with love, remorse, hatred, and passion: "Tear down the wall!... Tear down the wall!" Knock that emotional wall that you have built on it's ass and show it who truly is the dominant benefactor. I want to see people standing up for what they feel and I want it now...
To feel something so connected and joyful, like regaining a sense of purpose it comes like a memory... a wave... a symbolic song floating through your head space. For me it is a feeling. A full fledged, full bodied, mind numbing rapture that you believe not a soul could ever truly know. However, there is that feeling of hope. Hope that the experience is being shared on the same scale and hope is all you need when it comes to first encounters because it means progress and you're in it for the long haul.
Watching another person go through this kind of thing is almost just as interesting as experiencing it yourself. It begins with contact of the eye's then it moves on to the dropping of the jaw's and when your brain lets the rest of your body catch up to this phenomenon you utter some form of single syllable gibberish, something along the lines of "h-h-hi" or "what's up?" but your insides are screaming and revolting, knowing you could write this human being an orchestra if it would please them and all you want to say is "Come with me on a journey of mysticism and joy! I want to be your experience... I want to know who you are." and all you had was hi! Holy fucking shit is this actually happening?
The best part about witnessing this mind blow actually happen to someone is the fact that you can see everything the person is screaming on the inside on their face. Wearing it like a thin veil but trying their best to deny the fact that anything worth while is actually happening here. We need to stop hiding things like this. Openness is the key to a world of truths and happiness. Although this barrier of emotions still plagues my existence for the time being I am done with such boring wait games. I am going to start feeding my inner thoughts to peoples faces and hopefully they won't throw it back up.
As one of my favourite bands once chanted out with love, remorse, hatred, and passion: "Tear down the wall!... Tear down the wall!" Knock that emotional wall that you have built on it's ass and show it who truly is the dominant benefactor. I want to see people standing up for what they feel and I want it now...
Monday, June 1, 2009
Peace
The student became alive with a full fledged knowledge of the hunt,
Staring across the room at his predecessor.
In a cold sweat he shivered as he felt the touch of all the hands his counterpart had shaken.
In sequence and in envy he spoke with disdain.
"I hate you..."
And there was peace for a brief moment in time...
Staring across the room at his predecessor.
In a cold sweat he shivered as he felt the touch of all the hands his counterpart had shaken.
In sequence and in envy he spoke with disdain.
"I hate you..."
And there was peace for a brief moment in time...
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