Success is an Elusive Horse

There has to be some way to make it in this world. Having not yet found my place has forced my outlook to become a little drab to say the least now-a-day's but I know that I am still young and I have always carried this in the back of my mind. There must be some last shred of opportunity out there. A way to put my talents to good use and benefit with a compliment toward the way that I would want to live respectfully and comfortably. I have never been one to succumb to other peoples pressures or advocacy and I feel as if this has jump shot me into the role of an estranged renegade of the modern times. My art is mine. I observe and report and it has always been this way, but thinking in these manor-isms has always rendered my glass rather half empty as opposed to it being half full. In fact, I feel hardly the least bit quenched. I am poor, destitute and broken down. I cant afford to purchase any food. I drink water and eat whatever I can find that is left in my closet. Things like Raman noodles and old cans of soup, plain white rice and a package of croutons and yet always come across a means for the drink. I hunt for jobs. I stagger around looking for jobs. I cannot be a writer if I have not gone to school for it. I can not be a musician if I don't drop everything and travel, tour or sellout without having the necessary funding to do so. I am in a position of no return or hope of salvation. I have no money, no time to give to my art and nothing or no one to fallback on for further or future help. If this truly is the age of information then why are we all sitting here like farm animals? I look back at all of the friends that I have and have had. Most of them pampered. Less of them like me and the ones that are in the same position travel on the same boat. I watched their parents give them money for schooling, food and accommodations. Others took out loans. I watched certain parents pay rent for a friend who spent a year sitting in a room smoking pot and downloading music all day as I went out and worked 8 - 10 hour day's to feed and house myself. I know its sinfully envious to regard things in that light but having done everything on my own from the age of 17 has become a rather burdensome path to follow in the era we now call ours. I feel like I cant even wipe my ass before checking my bank account anymore. So how is it done? How does one pull through the muck and grime without demeaning ones intellect, self respect, and dreams? Ignorance is bliss. Success these days has become a rather elusive horse.